Skip to main content

Relationships, love, sex & marriage

Biblically speaking, relationships are more central to our being than bodily pleasure. We are first of all relational beings. God made humans male and female (Gen 1:27), addressed Adam as a covenant-partner (Gen 2:16-17), and made Eve as a suitable helper for Adam, for whom it was not good to be alone (Gen 2:18). Abraham was to be the channel for God's blessing to flow to all the families of the earth (Gen 12:3). Christ died and rose for his people - the church (Eph 1:22, 2:19-22, etc) who are to mutually encourage each other (Gal 6:2; Heb 10:24-25). We are to use our bodies to enhance relationships. If we are in healthy relationships, our bodies will prosper. If we are in unhealthy relationships, our bodies will deteriorate.

Relationships are built on trust, and trust is built on the reliability of a person’s character, usually expressed in their faithfulness to promises. This is because relationships are essentially other-focused.

In any intimate relationship – family, spouse, BFF – we take the risk of giving ourselves to the other person, and acting for their benefit, without protecting ourselves – that is to say, we love them. We trust our relational partner, that they, recognising and valuing this gift of ourselves, will cherish and protect us – we trust that they will respond to, and value, our love. We also trust that they will return our love with a commensurate gift of themselves – that they will give themselves to us, and act for our benefit, without concern for themselves – that is to say, that they will love us in return.

This is why relationships are both risky and rewarding. In any relationship, we make ourself vulnerable to our relational partner. If they return our love, then we rejoice and flourish, for our self has been affirmed by the one to whom we entrusted it. If they do not return our love, then we are crushed, for we have given our selves to another, and they have not deemed it worthy of response, but have discarded it.

Sexuality fits into this relational framework. Our sexuality is a good bodily function, given to us by God, to enhance our relationships. Sexual activity brings physical bodies and relational love together. Love and sex are mutually reinforcing: when we fall in love with someone, we desire sex with them; having sex with someone reinforces our love for them. In sexual activity, we make our bodies vulnerable, giving them to each other for mutual pleasure. Betrayal by our sexual partner has deep emotional and psychological consequences.

This is why the Bible presents marriage as the proper context for sexual activity. In a marriage, a man and a woman promise to commit to each other for life. Those promises define the relationship between the two of them, and call them both to mutual faithfulness – to have the personal character to be faithful to those promises, whatever difficulties life may throw at them. Having promised faithfulness to each other, they entrust their bodies to each other in sex.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The different distractions of secularity and spirituality

There has been a lot of discussion about the recent 'vibe shift' away from radical atheism back towards an openness to the supernatural. I don't think this new spirituality is necessarily an openness to the unique claims of Christ. It will more probably replace one set of commonly-accepted misunderstandings about Jesus with another.  Under radical atheism, people dismissed the Biblical claims about Jesus' resurrection because they 'knew' that it was impossible. Jesus hadn't really died. He just passed out (after being beaten and whipped and crucified) and then woke up in the tomb (and rolled away the stone himself and overcame several guards). Or the disciples hallucinated that they saw him (even though Jewish beliefs of the time didn't expect one person to rise possessing eternal life himself; they expected a general resurrection at the end of time - see John 11:24 ). Or something else.  The so-called 'explanations' of Jesus' non-resurrectio...
Post a Comment
Read more

A better understanding of nonbelief

The Nones Project is an ongoing study into the belief systems of people who call themselves non-religious. A few weeks ago one of the project leaders,  Ryan Burge  of Washington University,  posted some really interesting preliminary results  on his Substack.  1. We've probably heard of people who are spiritual but not religious (SBNRs). SBNRs were "the largest group of nones" in the sample. They believe in the supernatural realm but not necessarily in "a God." They are "deeply skeptical of religion but highly interested in spirituality," therefore individualistic and anti-institutional.  2. But this study differentiated SBNRs from people they called Nones In Name Only, NiNos. They different to SBNRs by being religious about their spiritual. They believe not just in the supernatural but in "God." And they tend to engage in traditional communal religious practices while SBNRs practice individualised eclectic bespoke spiritual practices. The s...
Post a Comment
Read more

Wax and Wright on the definition of "mission"

Trevin Wax has written a clear, simple, and charitable introduction to a debate about the nature and boundaries of the kinds of Christian activities that validly should be called "mission." In brief:  Should we use a broad definition, where "mission" encompasses all the various purposes which God calls Christians and the church in general to perform, e.g. being ethical at work; general acts of care and charity; standing against systematic oppression and working towards justice instead? If so, "evangelism" is only one part of the church's mission - a central, necessary, and irreplaceable part, but only one part nonetheless. The latter kinds of activities don't save anyone for eternity, but they do genuine good in this world which please God. And that kind of good makes a real difference in many parts of the world which have not benefited from the kind of Christian moral transformation which the West benefited from - the kind of moral transformation...
Post a Comment
Read more